A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

#1 Dad I'm The Man
#1 Grandfather
12-12-12 1000 Years Of Peace
12-21-12 The End In Bismarck
12-21-12 The End
2 Teach Is 2 Touch Lives 4 Ever
21,915 Days Old But Who's Counting?
2012
333 Only Half Evil
40ish Give Or Take An Ish
40 The Ultimate "F" Word
50 The Ultimate "F" Word
53 Percent Of All Statistics Are Made Up

A

A Balanced Diet Is Chocolate In Both Hands
A Bartender Is Just A Pharmacist With A Limited Inventory
A Friend Is Someone Who Thinks You're A Good Egg Even When You're Slightly Cracked
A Mother's Love Bears The Sweetest Fruit
A Mother's Love Never Fades
A Real Gentleman Wouldn't Stare At My T-Shirt
A Team Effort Is A Lot Of People Doing What I Say
AAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse
Ahhhh.... I See The Screw-up Fairy Has Visited Us Again
Airport Security Strip Search Department
All American Grandma
All Things Being Equal Fat People Use More Soap
Almost As Smart As My Phone
American Association Of Retired Pirates We Put The Arrrr In Retirement
Any Minute Now I'll Jump In With A Pointless Observations
Apple Pi
Are You A Full Blooded Alcholic?
Are You A Side Effect Of My Medication
Are You Sure These Are MY Relatives
Ask Me If I Care
At The Sound Of My Name Fish Tremble
Avid indoorsman

B

C

Caffeine
Can I blame my hot flashes on global warming?
Can You Beer Me Now?
Can You Dig It
Can You Smell What Barack Is Cookin
Captain Save-A-Ho
Careful Or You'll End Up In My Novel
Carrie's Kids - Tshirt
Carrie's Kids - Sweatshirt
Case Worker It's A Tough Job But Somebody's Gotta Do It
Caution Gas Leak Stay Back 50 Feet
Cereal Killer
Century Patriots Football
Century Patriots
Century High Patriots
Chances Are I'm Right
Chemistry Is Just Like Cooking But Don't Lick The Spoon
Cheer Designs
Chicks Dig Scrawny Pale Guys
Chief Executive Officer Of Diddly Squat In Other Words Retired
Chocolate
Chubby And Dangerous
Computer Geek
CORRUPTION - I Want Either Less Of It Or More Opportunity To Participate In It
Cougars Need Love Too
Crap!!! (Wheelchair Crash)

D

Dad Knows Everything! Well If Not He'll Make Something Up
Daddy's Little Tax Deduction
D.A.D.D. Dads Against Daughters Dating
Dakota Country
Damn The Ice Dam
Danger, Mouth Operates Faster Than Brain
Dear Santa I Can Explain!
Deet Dee Deee
Definition Of A Wenis
Democwats
Demons Football
Denial Is My Happy Place
Department Of Redundancy Department
Did I Say That Out Loud?
Diet Evil Tastes Just Like Regular Evil But With 50 Percent Less Guilt
DILLIGARA Doilooklikeigivearatsass
Dipstick It's My Anniversary
No Not Disturb I'm Already Disturbed
Do You Herd What I Herd
Does Anal Retentive Have A Hyphen
Does This Baby Make Me Look Fat?
Don't Annoy The Crazy Person
Don't Burn Your Weenie
Don't Like My Attitude Visit My Website At www_like_I_care.com
Don't Make Me Poison Your Dinner
Don't Make Me Use My Librarian Voice
Don't Mess With The Grouch On The Couch
Don't Piss Off The Fairies
Don't Start With Me You Know How I Get
Don't Take Life Too Seriously No One Gets Out Alive
Don't Tell Me To Relax Stress Is The Glue That Holds Me Together
Don't Worry About What People Think They Don't Do It Very Often
Drama Queen

E

Easily Distracted By Shiny Objects
Eat Chocolate Drink Wine Sleep Naked
End War
English Major You Do The Math
Engineer Inside
Engineers Motto If It Isn't Broken Take It Apart And Fix It
Enjoy Life
Even If The Voices Are not Real They Still Have Some Pretty Good Ideas
Everyone Is Entitled To Be Stupid But You Are Abusing The Privilege
Everyone Remain Calm I'm A...
Everything Tastes Better With KETCHUP
Evil And Then Some
Exactly How Much Can I Get Away With And Still Go To Heaven

F

Fat Quarters Are Not A Body Part
Father League All-Star
FBI Female Body Inspector
Fell Asleep At The Wheel Mouse
Fire Alarm
Flying Is The 2nd Greatest Thrill Known To Man, Landing Is The First
Food Has Replaced Sex In My Life Now I Can't Even Get Into My Own Pants
For Sale My Parents Buy One Get One Free
Former Porn Star
Forget Milk! Got Beer?
Forget Milk Got Martini?
Forget Milk Got Margarita?
Forgive Your Enemies But Remember Their Names
Founding Member Church Of Me
Free-Range-Human
Friends Tea And Me Make For Cozy Company
Fudge Pack Rat
Full Of Shiitake
Fun Guy

G

Game Over
Gas Mask Recommended
Generic North Dakota Souvenir T-shirt
Get A Job Help Pay My Social Security
Get Life
Give Us This Day Our Daily Brew
God Must Love Stupid People He Made So Many Of You
God Loves You, He Just Has An Unusual Way Of Showing It
Good Friends Don't Let You Do Stupid Things Alone
Golfer: One Who Yells Fore, Takes Six, And Writes Down Five...
Got Coal?
Got Music?
Got Nog?
Got Sandbags?
Got Sandbags? cap
Got WENIS?
Grandmas Are Antique Little Girls
Grandma's Sippy Cup
Grandpas Are Antique Little Boys
Great Grandmother In Training
Grow Your Own Dope Plant A Man
Guns don't kill people, people on cell phones do
Guess What? Chicken Butt

H

Ham & Eggs
Handyman's Creed - Measure Once, Cut Twice, Swear Repeatedly
Happy Collidays
Having One Cat Is Like Eating One Potato Chip
Hard Times Call For Hard Liquor
He Made Me A Bottle I Couldn't Refuse
Helluo Librorum
HELP I'm On My Cell Phone And Can't Hang Up
Here Comes Treble
Here I Am What Are Your Other Two Wishes
Here I Come To Save The Day!
Here's A Little Hint I don't Care
Hi I'm New Here
Hooters
Holy Cow
Holy Crap
Honesty Is The Best Policy But Insanity Is The Best Defense
Horn Dog
Hukt Awn Fonix Wurkt Fur Mee
Humans Are THe Only Creatures On Earth Who Allow Their Kids To Come Back Home
Human Element
Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed

I

I Ain't Dead Yet!
I Am Disinclined To Acquiesce To Your Request
I Am Life
I AM NOT AN AMBULANCE
I Before E Except After C Weird?
I Cannot Comment During The Ongoing Investigation
I Can't Go To Work Today The Voices Said Stay Home And Clean The Gun
I Can't Hear You Old Age Has Some Benefits
I Child Proofed My House But They Still Get In
I Club My Ex Husband
I Club My Ex Wife
I Didn't Ask To Be A Princess But If The Crown Fits...
I Didn't Climb To The Top Of The Food Chain To Be A Vegetarian
I Didn't Come Here To Lose
I Didn't Do It
I Didn't Hit You, I High Fived Your Face
I Didn't Say It Was Your Fault I Said I Was Going To Blame You
I Do Very Bad Things And I Do Them Very Well
I Do What The Voices In My Wife's Head Tell Me To Do
I Don't Discriminate I Hate Everybody
I Don't Give A Rats Ass
I Don't Skinny Dip I Chunky Dunk
I Don't Tan I Rust
I Forgot My Wife's Birthday - I Forgot My Anniversary
I Fought The Lawn And The Lawn Won
I Found JESUS He Was Behind The Couch All Along
I Gave Up Jogging Because My Thighs Kept Rubbing Together And Setting My Pantyhose On Fire
I Haven't Had My Coffee. Don't Make Me Kill You.
I Hate Everyone
I Hate Math
I Have Multiple Personalities And None Of Them Like You
I Have No Idea What I Am Doing Out Of Bed
I Have An Abusive Relationship I Have A Cat
I Have A Perfect Body, It's Your Vision That's Shot
I Have PMS And ESP That Makes Me A Bitch That Knows Everything
I Heart Cows
I Heart My Dog Breed
I Heart Wenis
I Helped Bailout WALL STREET And All I Got Was This T-Shirt
I Know I Came Into This Room For A Reason
I Know Right From Wrong... Wrong Is The Fun One
I Like Cats I Just can't Eat A Whole One By Myself
I Like To Swing
I Live In The State Of Confusion
I Live In My Own Little World But It's Ok They Know Me Here
I Live With Fear Every Day Then On The Weekends I Leave Her At Home And Go Skydiving
I Love Cooking WIth Wine Sometimes I Even Use It In The Food!
I Love You, You Love Me There Now We're Even
I Love Poetry, Long Walks On The Beach, And Poking Dead Things With A Stick
I May Have Alzheimers But At Least I Don't Have Alzheimers!
I May Be Schizophrenic But At Least I Have Each Other
I Might Be Left Handed But I'm Always Right
I Need My Garage Time
I Never Finish Anythi
I Never Make Mistakes I Thought I Did Once But I Was Mistaken
I Overcame ANOREXIA
I Only Have A Kitchen Because It Came With The House
I Prefer Anti-Social Networks
I Put Ketchup On My Ketchup
I Really Should Have Looked Into My Husband's Family A Little Closer
I Really Should Have Looked Into My Wife's Family A Little Closer
I Recycle I Wore This Shirt Yesterday
I Spent All My Money On RACECARS And BEER The Rest I Just Wasted
I Spill Things
I Survived The Dakota Floods 2009
I SURVIVED THE FLOOD OF 2009
I Survived The Flood Of 2009 cap
I Swear To Drunk I'm Not God
I Used To Care Now I Take A Pill For That
I Used To Think Drinking Was Bad For Me So I Gave Up Thinking
I Was Worth The Wait
I Was A Slacker Before It Was Fashionable
I Was Flower Girl
I Was Ringbearer
I Wonder If Illiterate People Get The Full Effect Of Alphabet Soup
I'd Agree With You But Then We'd Both Be Wrong
I'd Be A Vegetarian If Bacon Grew On Trees
I'll Have A Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte To Go Please
I'd Like To Help You But I Just Can't Fix Stupid
I'd Like To Help You Out Which Way Did You Come In
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
I'd Tell You To Go To Hell But I Work There And I Don't Want To See You Every Day
If A Vegetarian Eats Vegetables What Do Humanitarians Eat
If A Fat Girl Falls In The Forest And No One Is There To See It Do The Trees Laugh?
If At First You Don't Succeed Try Doing It The Way Your Wife Told You
If Guns Kill People Then Pencils Miss Spell Words Cars Make People Drive Drunk And Spoons Make Rosie O'Donnell Fat
If Idiots Grew On Trees This Place Would Be An Orchard
If I Got Smart With You How Would You Know
If I Knew My Grandchildren Were So Much Fun I Would Have Had Them First
If I Throw A Stick Will You Leave
If t Weren't For Physics And Law Enforcement, I'd Be Unstoppable
If I'm Quiet You'd Better Find Me
If It Weren't For Philo T Farnsworth Inventor Of The Television We'd Still Be Eating Frozen Radio Dinners
If It Weren't For The Gutter My Mind Would Be Homeless
If It Weren't For The Last Minute I'd Get Nothing Done At All
If It's Not One Thing It's Your Mother
If Sexy's The Goal I'm The Hat Trick
If The Speed Of Sound Is 1130 ft Per Second What Is The Speed Of Silence
If We Quit Voting Will They Go Away
If You Can't Laugh At Yourself I'll Do It For You
If You Mess With Me You Mess With The Whole Trailer Park
If You Met My Family You'd Understand
If You Want To Make It To The Top Prepare To Kiss A Lot Of The Bottom
If Your Telekinetic And You Know It Raise My Hand
If You're Too Open Minded Your Brain Will Fall Out
I'll Try To Be Nicer If You Try To Be Smarter
I'm Bringing Sexy Back
I'm A Bad Ass You're Just An Ass
I'm A Cat Person - No I Mean I'm Half-Cat, Half-Human
I'm A Hairdresser Not A Magician
I'm A Hotspot
I'm A Keeper
I'm A Toilet Away From A Perfect Garage
I'm A Wordsmith, Which Is Kindof Like A Blacksmith But Without The Tools & Fire & Stuff
I'm Ashamed Of What I Did For A Klondike Bar
I'm Bilingual I Speak Bitch
I'm Confused Wait Maybe I'm Not
I'm Currently Away From My Desk
I'm Going Garage Sailing
I'm Going To BeThe BIG BROTHER (stick figure design)
I'm Going To Be The BIG SISTER (stick figure design)
I'm Going To Be The Big BROTHER (cartoon design)
I'm Going To Be The Big SISTER (cartoon design)
I'm Greater Than You
I'm Having An Out-Of-Money Experience
I'm In An Abusive Relationship - I Have A Cat
I'm In No Shape To Exersize
I'm Just Like You Only Smarter And Better Looking
I'm Not Cheap But I Am On Special This Week!
I'm No Rocket Surgeon
I'm Not A Complete Idiot Some Pieces Are Missing
I'm Not Antisocial I'm Just Not User Friendly
I'm Not AVOIDING You I'm IGNORING You
I'm Not Drunk You Shilly Sit
I'm Not Infantile You Stinky Butt Poophead
I'm Not Just Crazy I'm A...
I'm Not Like You
I'm Not Obsessive Compulsive I'm Super Meticulous
I'm Not Short I'm Fun Size
I'm Not Santa But You Can Still Sit On My Lap
I'm Not Too Old It's Just That Your Music Sucks
I'm Not Trying To Be Difficult It Just Comes Naturally
I'm Not Your Type. I'm Not Inflatable.
I'm On The 12th Step Of Some Program Or Other
I'm Probably Lying
I'm Retired And You're Not-nah-nah-nah-nah
I'm So Evil The Devil Worships Me
I'm Sick Of Being My Wife's Arm Candy
I'm So Far Behind I Thought I Was First
I'm So Old I Can Laugh Cough Sneeze Fart And Pee All At The Same Time
I'm Still HOT It Just Comes In Flashes Now
I'm The Big Brother (smiley design)
I'm The Big Brother (stick figures design)
I'm The Big Brother (footprints design)
I'm The Big Brother (cartoon design)
I'm The Big Sister (stick figures design)
I'm The Big Sister (foot prints design)
I'm The Big Sister (smiley design)
I'm The Big Sister (cartoon design)
I'm The Boss That's Why
I'm The Guy With The Huge PP
I'm The Little Brother (foot prints design)
I'm The Little Brother (smiley design)
I'm The Little Sister (smiley design)
I'm The Little Sister (foot prints design)
I'm The Product Of A Top Secret Government Project
I'm Tying The Shot By Me A Knot
I'm With Stupid
I'm Your Internet Girlfriend
Impotence Natures Way Of Saying No Hard Feelings
International Channel Surfing
In Just Two Days Tomorrow Will Be Yesterday!
In The 60's People Took Acid To Make The World Weird...
In This Election Season I'm Proud To Stand For Absolutely Nothing
Instant Human Just Add Coffee
IPoo'd
It Takes 1 Careless Match To Start A Forest Fire But A Whole Box To Start A Campfire
It's Hard To Be Optimistic When Your Fat Pants Are Tight
It's In My Freezer
It's The Truck That Peter Built
I've Been Kidnapped

J

Jack Frost Peed On My Windows
Jenius
Jesus Love You Everyone Else Thinks You're An Alcoholic
Jesus Is Coming Look Busy
John Deere Mean Green Machine
Just Another Sexy Bald Guy
Just Be Happy I'm Not A Twin
Just Keep Talking Like I Wasn't There
Just Pretend I'm Not Here That's What I'm Doing
Just Say No To Negative Thinking
Just Say No To Junk In The Trunk

K

Karaoke Krazy
Keep Laughing This Is Your Girlfriend's Shirt
Keep Watching Maybe I'll Do A Trick
Keg Security
Kids Are Like Farts You Can Only Put Up With Your Own
Kinky Is Using A Feather... Perverted Is Using The Whole Chicken.

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