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Admitting you're a jerk is the first step

You may kiss my ring

I love college, it's the studying and tests that I hate

For Sale - Franklin 45ft 5th Wheel Camper

Danerously overeducated

If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap, and easy

I love when my wife lets me go golfing

Go ahead, bask in my beauty

I could use a memory upgrade

I am sorry I forgot you were and idiot

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable

Irish Gladiators, like American Gladiators but drunker

Please don't tell congress what comes after a trillion

Dangerously undereducated

Life is uncertain eat dessert first

Looking for love, Donations accepted

I love it when my wife lets me go bowling

I went to night school so I can read in the dark

picture of a Alien space ship

Chronologically gifted

Damn right I'm good in bed, I can sleep for days

I don't give a rats ass

Marriage, it's not a word, it's a sentence

You never see a motorcycle parked outside a Pyschiatrist's office

Gray, It's the new blonde

As a matter of fact, I did sleep in these cloths

Anger management through hand gestures

I am just one pill away from being normal

Gen R (I'm Retired)

I love it when my wife lets me go hunting

Vampire Bait

Please return my taxes, government doesn't work

For a good time call someone else

It's all fun and games until the cops show up

Handles well, fully loaded

I am into whole foods, whole cakes, whole pies, whole pizzas

You bring out the worst in me, I like that

I love it when my wife lets me go fishing

I see you are playing stupid and you must be winning

Wines improve with age, I improve with wine

I have reached the age where happy hour is a nap

Obey gravity it's the law

My food pyramid is made from beer cans

Why can't I be rich instead of good looking?

Pooped, and I don't mean tired

I am not aging, I am fermenting

Not the brightest crayon in the box now are we?

Only I can make retirement look this good

Please hold your applause until I conclude my remarks

When did my wild oats turn into oat bran?

Organization takes the fun out of everything

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